The Flip Side

All our lives, time and again, we’re reminded of what we need to be: be good, be kind, be compassionate, and a million other BEs. And every time we stumble, we’re reminded of the ‘BE’ list. 

As good as reinforcing just behaviour is, we often tend to overlook and almost neglect the flip side. Psychologically speaking, each human is a combination of different traits and further different combinations of those traits and emotions.

In the entirety of this world, there is nothing absolutely black or white, and we humans are no exception. There is no one who does not have any shortcomings, there is no one who is perfect in a social sense, and there is no one who is a complete lost cause. 

The idea of having picture-perfect parents, children, partners or friends has manipulated all of us into creating faux selves. Selves which overlook or shove the ‘undesirable’ traits, emotions and reactions under the rug. Naturally, as a result, we come to a point where we don’t know what to do with our anger, sorrow, hatred and similar emotions. We don’t know how to deal with them and there, exactly there, almost all of the positive reinforcement goes in vain. You know why? Because you can try and deny their presence, deny these emotions a decent outlet, but they will catch up to you one day, push open the floodgates and come rushing in. 

So, the important question is what do we do? What we do is, we ACCEPT. Accept them as a part of who you and others around you are, accept that the undesirable ones are as natural as the desirable ones. Sadness is as natural as happiness, anger is as natural as good humour. Accept their presence. Accept that they only make you human. And after accepting them, try to work on them. If you’re angry, take a moment, breathe, relax and communicate. Communication is so undervalued when in reality, it is the best therapy for literally anything. If you’re sad, communicate. Find trustworthy and decent outlets for what you feel. In a moment of negativity, allow yourself to feel whatever that it is, and then heal. Don’t deny something that flows as naturally as the blood in your veins. After all, the way to working on something begins from addressing it’s presence. 

Lastly, I want you to know that it’s okay to feel how you feel. I want you to remember to accept the black as willingly as you accept the white. And I urge you to talk about your mental health and conflicts. There’s always someone who will listen, you just have to try and reach out. And I hope you do better, but not to chase a mythical perfection, rather to build a happier life. You deserve it. 

ps. take it easy, you’re only human.